There is much practical wisdom in the Torah about how to deal with conflicts. Leviticus 19:17-18 states:

Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Similarly, Proverbs 19:11 contends:

A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

These passages form the basis of how my family handles offenses. In our home, if someone offends you, there is an acceptable response and an unacceptable response. The unacceptable response is to “hate your brother in your heart” (Lev 19:17). This can be manifest in two ways: First, by seeking revenge—getting back at the person and hurting them as much as they hurt you. This is taking the offense and hurling it back at the person. A second way of responding with hate is to bear a grudge. Here, the person keeps everything inside. The pressure builds up. It eats away at the person and poisons their heart. Bearing a grudge is self-destructive and is as unacceptable as revenge.

Both of these expressions of hate are off limits in our family. How then can a person who is offended respond? What is acceptable?

Israel —the Dream of Jews for thousands of years. More than 40% of all Jews in the world now live in Israel where we are not a respected or persecuted minority but instead a solid majority. This is a place with great variety but also a common thread. This is the story of return—Teshuvah. In this story of return some express themselves in religious terminology and others in more humanistic terms, and yet the common thread of return . . . . You could say the scarlet thread that draws us is the hope for a better future for Jews than we experienced in the years of our dispersion in exile. There is a growing understanding among all parts of society that this future, like our past, is dependent on our relationship with Hashem. A key sign of our relationship with Hashem is found in our relationship with our fellow Jews.