The above Scriptures mention two acceptable responses. First, “Rebuke your neighbor frankly” (Lev 19:17; cf. Matt 18:15). Go to them, tell them how they have wronged you, and give them an opportunity to repent (make teshuvah). We have taught our children that repentance is to say sincerely, “I am very sorry for ______ (in detail!). It was wrong. I won’t do it again. Please forgive me”—and then to make any necessary restitution. If a person repents, the offended person should forgive and verbalize their forgiveness by saying sincerely, “I forgive you” (Luke 17:3-4). This is what we have taught our children, and it works. Moreover, this process of reconciliation applies to parents and children equally. Sometimes I wrong my children and they rebuke me frankly. I, in turn, repent the way I have taught them to repent. I set the example for them to imitate. If I don’t follow these principles, they won’t either.

The second acceptable response in these texts is to “overlook an offense” (Prov 19:11; e.g. Luke 23:34 “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing”). This means to forgive and forget. Let it bounce off of you without the offense entering your heart. This is an acceptable response as long as the person truly does this. How can anyone do this? We can do this because God does this to us. He overlooks thousands of our offenses. We can show mercy to others because he is merciful to us. Yeshua said, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matt 6:14-15; cf. 18:21-35).